Welcome to Holland

by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

freed

the holidays are finally here again:) i kind of dread school after this short two weeks break. CLINICALS, projects, assignment, test, exams. still, i am excited to find out my community setting!

i cannot wait to get my hands on a new camera and phone. i miss photography. gosh, it has been such a pity that there were some beautiful scenery in front of me yet i dont have a phone with decent camera function since the my-bag-got-stolen-in-koufu-but-my-bag-was-found-in-the-male-toilet-and-all-was-intact-but-my-phone-was-missing incident.
thank God, the first half of the semester has been still manageable and good:) ogbb been quite a success! lolx.

see you soon

it is good to hear you say "damn long nv hear all these kinda stuff frm ya le=)" see you soon, my primary school buddy. i am happy for you, all grown up!
clinical education 1a ended. i am majorly overjoyed:D
survived the minor crisis of events-happening-all-at-one-go-overloaded, things went well. praise God!
GLS was great. reenergized and recharged. my vision? to be revealed:)

therapy

sooner or later, this sign will get me into trouble.

there has been raven incidents, again. too much noise. i dont not need this now. but i guess this is what i asked for. so yes, with God, impossible is nothing!

i have started blogging now and then again. perhaps it is therapeutic for me. to pour my woes to the virtual world.

i love noah's ark:)

just a little

i need a little push. i am getting unmotivated as work piles on. perhaps a little excitement will do. to get me out of where i am stuck right now.
God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.

idealisation

reality really sucks. i guess i have to lower my unrealistic expectations. welcome back to earth!
and i have to deal with it for four years. maybe it is time for a revolution.
ps; i miss my primary school buddy.

L-O-V-E

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love
There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy
There's nothing you can make that can't be made
No one you can save that can't be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need
There's nothing you can know that isn't known
Nothing you can see that isn't shown
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be
It's easy
All you
need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need

"All You Need Is Love", The Beatles

best holidays

DONE:
curious case of benjamin buttons
slumdog millionaire
picnic, erm, at SMU
tuesday with morrie
sing K
singapore association for the visually handicapped
alexendra hospital
changi airport, popeyes
cycling, east coast, ajisen
G force
departures
hard candy
autism association
coco before chanel
hip hop
holland v, wala wala
kite runner
ikea, meatballs chicken wings, gelare
kite runner, movie
cooking, pasta, soup muay thai
picnic at barrage
cartel
9
time traveler's wife, movie
mobile dental clinic
time traveler's wife
NTU hostel
geriatrics sig
my sister's keeper
tampines 1 rooftop
orientation and mobility
dining in the dark
picnic at barrage
project 123
thai express
sing k
vjc open house
with a pinch of salt
crispian and cheryl's wedding
one love awakening conference
student mentorship camp
hairloom and caramel, 500 days of summer, neoprints
breeks, blood donation
swesen's, cartel
peranakan museum, national museum, fort canning, battle box, rom
deepavali

YET TO DO:
eat donut
fly kite
pottery
ice skate
roller blade
swim
learn guitar

declaration

"Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household." Acts 16:31

technology

i really dont like texts or online messaging.
no tone, facial expression, body language. pisses off and upsets me easily, by the way i interpret the words. it is the countless time already.
also, sometimes it allows me to become an alternative person. is that hypocritical?
give me the real person, please. both the yous and me.

His grace

introduction to psychology dist
introduction to sociology a
human anatomy 1a b
human physiology 1a a
occupational therapy theory & process 1a dist
human occupations 1a c+
professional image & etiquette a

The Kite Runner

That was a long time ago, but it’s wrong what they say about the past, I’ve learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out.

Then he would remind us that there was a brotherhood between people who had fed from the same breast, a kinship that not even time could break.
Hassan and I fed from the same breasts. We took our first steps on the same lawn in the same yard. And, under the same roof, we spoke our first words.
Mine was Baba.
His was Amir. My name.
Looking back on it now, I think the foundation for what happened in the winter of 1975 and all that followed was already laid in those first words.

But coming close wasn't the same as winning, was it? ... He had won because winners won and everyone else just went home.

For you, a thousand times over.

I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.

Quiet is peace. Tranquility. Quiet is turning down the volume knob on life. Silence is pushing the off button. Shutting it down. All of it.

Soiree 2008: OT0702

Ooooooh~

Future OTs we've pledged to be
We pledge to help our community
I really wonder if we'll ever be
Considering that we're so naughty

The crazy plans that we always make,
Never seem to impress anyone
Finding faults in our own mistakes
Remembering that way is much more fun

Watching learning, trying to find some meaning
Caring helping makes it so fulfilling
Watching learning trying to find some meaning
Slowly surely some day we'll be ready

PBL makes me stay up late
Mobility definitely lays my fate
BSM makes my heart palpate
Behavioral mod tries to change the things I hate

Sorry to say but physio makes me sleep
So deep I didn't feel my handphone beep
But I have friends to keep me awake
Reminding me that my grades are at stake

Watching learning, trying to find some meaning
Caring helping makes it so fulfilling
Watching learning trying to find some meaning
Slowly surely some day we'll be ready

OT is here to sing for you this song
Now everybody try to sing along, clap along
Ya'll listen to these words that's coming from our tongue
Its something you can relate to and laugh along ya'll

After JC I joined OT in NYP
I've been looked down by everybody
They ask me why I didn't go to the uni
They judge me as someone who cant make it

I didn't care I proceed to poly
And each days pass I feel much more happy
‘Cos wat I learn gave me so much meaning
Give me the drive to carry on my learning

Whenever you feel stressed and feeling down
Recall what OT’s gonna tell u now
This is my hakuna matata remix
Come on everybody now sing it with me

Shee pap pee doop...Pee doobie wan too...

Watching learning, trying to find some meaning
Caring helping makes it so fulfilling
Watching learning trying to find some meaning
Slowly surely some day we'll be ready

Tuesdays With Morrie

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. -p.43

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. -p.52

"...you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling." - p.61

“What I’m doing now is detaching myself from the experience.”
Detaching yourself?
“Yes. Detaching yourself. And this is important - not just for someone like me, who is dying, but for someone like you, who is perfectly healthy. Learn to detach.”
…
But wait, I said. Aren’t you always talking about experiencing life? All the good emotions, all the bad ones?
“Yes.”
Well, how can you do that if you’re detached?
“… detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it."
…
"Take any emotion - love for a woman, or grief for a loved one…. if you hold back on the emotions - if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them - you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.
But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. … I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.”
…
“Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely - but eventually be able to say, ‘All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I’m not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.” -p.104

[Morrie worked at a mental hospital, describing his experience with a patient]
One of the patients, a middle-aged woman, came out of her room every day and lay facedown on the tile floor, stayed there for hours, as doctors and nurses stepped around her. Morrie watched in horror. He took notes, which is what he was there to do. Every day, she did the same thing [on the floor, ignoring everyone]. [Morrie] began to sit on the floor with her, even lay down alongside her, trying to draw her out of her misery. Eventually, he got her to sit up and even return to her room. What she mostly wanted, he learned, was the same thing many people want - someone to notice she was there. - p.110

"As you grow old, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, its also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it." - p.118

Yes, I said, but if aging were so valuable, why do people alwas say, Oh, if I were young again. You never hear people say, I wish I were sixty-five.
He smiled. “You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven’t found meaning. because if you’ve found meaning in your life, you don’t want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. You can’t wait until sixty-five." - p.119

"… We also need to forgive ourselves.”
Ourselves?
“Yes. For all the things we didn’t do. All the things we should have done. You can’t get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn’t help you when you get to where I am. I always wished I had done more with my work; I wished I had written more books. I used to beat myself up over it. Now I see that never did any good. Make peace. You need to make peace with yourself and everyone around you.” - p.167

"Death ends a life, not a relationship." -pg 174

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Mrs Maple- Benjamin, we're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?

Mr Daws- Did I ever tell you I been struck by lightning seven times? Once when I was repairing a leak on the roof. Once I was just crossing the road to get the mail. Once, I was walking my dog down the road. Blinded in one eye; can't hardly hear. I get twitches and shakes out of nowhere; always losing my line of thought. But you know what? God keeps reminding me I'm lucky to be alive. Storm's comin'.

Benjamin Button- Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.

Benjamin Button- It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you.

Benjamin Button- For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

Benjamin Button- Along the way you bump into people who make a dent on your life. Some people get struck by lightning. Some are born to sit by a river. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim the English Channel. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people can dance.

The Kawa Model

Kawa
Mizu
Torimaki
Iwa
Ryuboku
Sukima

Occupational Therapist’s Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the gift of my profession.
Thank you for my education and training.
Thank you for the daily strength to address the challenges of disability and despair.
Thank you for the joy I feel in watching my clients progress toward independence.
Thank You for being my Advisor when I creatively solve a problem.
Thank You for the gift of Your Son Jesus Christ and my salvation.
Grant me the wisdom to understand my clients and fellow workers.
Grant me the patience to wait for Your healing of the whole person.
Grant me the opportunity to witness my love for You Through my lifestyle and my daily work.
Grant me the fellowship of other therapists that know and love You.
Grant me the humility to work as a team player with other professionals for the good of those we serve.
Grant me the peace that comes through knowing You during these turbulent times of change .
Cover me in the precious protective blood of Jesus on a daily basis.
In Christ Jesus I pray.
Amen.

independent living movement

members of independent living movement (a movement by and for people with disabilities designed to improve their life opportunities) view disability not as residing within people but, rather, as a primary deficit in the environment which limits their capability.

"Crabbit Old Woman"

What do you see, what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me-
A crabbit old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice,
I do wish you'd try.
Who seems not to notice the things that you do
And forever is loosing a stocking or shoe.
Who, unresisting or not; lets you do as you will
With bathing and feeding the long day is fill.
Is that what you're thinking,
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes,
nurse, you're looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still!
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of 10 with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who loved one another-
A young girl of 16 with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet,
A bride soon at 20- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At 25 now I have young of my own
Who need me to build a secure happy home;
A woman of 30, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At 40, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn;
At 50 once more babies play around my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own.
And I think of the years and the love that I've known;
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel-
Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart,
But inside this old carcass, a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells,
I remember the joy, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years all too few- gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last-
So open your eyes, nurse, open and see,
Not a crabbit old woman, look closer-
See Me.